Zules gets Tamara to read Exvulnerum

[TheJLT]

She's basically caught up, right?

 

[Zules]

She's basically caught up, right?

Yeah, but she hasn't gotten to Chapter 20 yet. I'll send it to her when I finish it.

 

[Zules]

The level of narcissism it takes to think it would be a high honour to be best friends with you. Pfft. And I’m not even going to scream at Amber through my screen anymore. I give up.

Huh?! What’s happening?! I’m both confused and impressed but Dzuna can’t buy love by throwing magic at it! Ugh.

WEST THE PEST!

I don’t know who I want to see beaten up more…

I’d love to see Cygnus beaten up too but I’d love to see some gang violence against Dzuna most of all. Hey Zules? However much it costs to commission me in there beating Dzuna up, I’ll pay it.

Okay, she still has her head on her shoulders and is snapping back to reality which is a good thing (though I’m not going to lie, I was looking forward to seeing a smackdown between those two nuisances).

Wow, which mental institution did Joe escape from because they really need to be told to tighten their security. Night is falling, there’s a heavily pregnant woman on the train and Dzuna wants to have some fun. What’s the worst that could happen!

I always thought I was good at riddles but I just can’t seem to figure out WHAT DZUNA WANTS. Is she just a lone traveller who has never had anyone pay her any positive attention and therefore develops an unhealthy attachment to the first person who does?! Why does she want to be FRIENDS with Amber even AFTER she has transferred the curse? What are her motives? The inner machinations of her mind are an enigma.

WHY is Amber STILL travelling to Calit after knowing full well who her Vulnerable is most likely to be?! It’s not like she JUST realist the very real possibility of what she’s about to do?! This girl STRESSES me out.

Finally, some sense! But it came too late. Even if that emergency brake did stop the train, there’s not much good that would do to be stuck in the middle of nowhere? Unless there’s no stop before Calit but the train would still have to move forward?

Am I tripping or did this brake-pulling thing happen before? Well, we now know it happened before but did we see it happen before? Hmm, now it’s going to be at the back of my mind for the next five minutes. Great.

Well, you know you’re annoying when even the purple ghostess is annoyed with you…

But right now, I’m more annoyed with Amber for still wanting West’s “help”.

NEXT READLOG POST: > here >

 

[Oegyein]

So there's a good number of kings who have gone to nut houses for their ailments, so is there a bright eyed bushy tailed med student documenting this peculiar string of mental patients, exhibiting similar symptoms, reporting a history of immense pain and crying about some floating purple genie lady named Dzuna?

I shall name him Garcey Proctor, and he shall follow each prior king of pain, almost until Joe, before he quits because his semester is almost over and his thesis isn't complete, so he bails and covers the correlation of geographical location and mental illness instead.

 

[Zules]

Wait, what? Am I not remembering something? Did he forget everything that happened? Did I forget everything that happened?! I would go back to jog my memory but I’m too invested at this point…

I could have really used that smackdown between West and Dzuna earlier just so I can visualise him being smacked better right now.

…This is the guy Amber believes can help her? I have nothing else left to say.

The look on Amber’s face tells me that she’d rather spend another night in the hospital than have to sit through another conversation with West.

I have to say, this was WAY better than any physical smackdown in a wrestling ring because DAMN! I almost feel sorry for a guy who I feel deserved all of that…

And I doubt he’s going to want to help her with anything after that. Yikes.

I both expected and didn’t expect this but hey, good on him for standing his ground. Maybe this was necessary for some much-needed character development.

It physically pains me to say this but Dzuna has a point there. Amber’s gone unhinged with her words! On one hand, yay for being able to express herself but on the other hand, nay for pushing everyone away with the verbal violence.

Yay, I wasn’t reaching! Evey really was caring for her!

But harassing a heavily pregnant woman to get off a train isn’t a good look for you, Amber.

Yeah, not a good look at all. Couldn’t she just wait for the next train or book herself a room at a nice, abandoned hotel for the night instead of having to choose between trapping herself on a train with a potential contraction-haver or making herself look like a lunatic yelling at a pregnant woman to leave? The poor woman.

You know you’re doing something wrong when even DZUNA tells you to stop and oh great heavens this isn’t happening is it —

Whew! I knew Zules wouldn’t be unholy enough for whatever could have happened there!

Not all heroes wear capes; some wear backpacks!

NEXT READLOG POST: > here >

 

[Zules]

Uh… What just happened? I thought I missed something but we should all be looking at the same thing here and I’m not looking at anything (unless everyone got Exvulnerum as an inside joke and I’m the only one who can’t see Dzuna pushing the dude over).

1,000 PAGES OF EXVULNERUM!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s it. That’s the post readlog entry.

CONGRATULATIONS ZULES! 1,000 pages is no small step, it’s a huge milestone and I hope you celebrated it accordingly!

Whew! I’m glad Zules didn’t make Page 1000 memorable by running Amber over with a car so she’d have to spend another night in a hospital while already in pain. Ahem.

That was crude! Now she’s got an addition-oil problem to deal with.

I see Zules has decided that Amber is just not going to have a good day today.

So, that WAS Dzuna? And she could do all this magic stuff on other people all along but just chose not to? Unless she somehow manipulated Amber into doing it… I don’t know what that was but it sure wasn’t a seizure.

Wait a minute, was that Evey? Is Dzuna somehow manipulating their perceptions so that Amber can’t see him? The “you’ll never see him again” sounded a little bit too threatening to me.

Zules note: I think chronologically Tamara was the first to submit this theory, although it was submitted via this readlog and sat unpublished until now, but she definitely should get credit for picking up on things earlier than (seemingly) almost everybody!

Also, she's right. My intention with the first speech bubble here was that it was Evey's actual voice that Dzuna muffled and obscured, causing it to morph and mingle with Amber's memories.

Well, is Miss Pretty Privileged Princess starting to realise that maybe, just maybe, Evey did the things he did for a very good reason and she’s not much better than him right now? Girl, you better be walking towards self-reflection because I’m done wishing you’d wake up already.

Is this half-dead, half-alive tree symbolic? What is Amber thinking…?

I’m conflicted between getting my hopes up for Evember because no expectations = no disappointments and I don’t think I have the emotional capacity for Zules to take us on another emotional rollercoaster ride again.

UGH, FINALLY! I’ve waited dozens of pages for this girl to finally see what we’re all seeing! This isn’t as relieving as I thought it would be though… Deep down, I feel Dzuna, the same Dzuna who willingly set a burning building full of people on fire to taunt Evey, wouldn’t be keen on letting go of her newfound obsession too easily.

10 points to Gryffindor for self-awareness!

Question: Which houses do you think each of the main characters would be in?

Dzuna’s house goes without saying. I’d say Evey is a Gryffindor and Amber a Hufflepuff. West? I don’t know but I feel the respective founder would be rolling in his/her grave due to the association.

Does anybody hear anything? Trash talking but like, literally? Hmm.

I hope Evey’s around; I’m sure that “Dzuna made me say it” is more than enough of a reason for him to forgive Amber.

Best Friends Forever!

NEXT READLOG POST: > here >

 

[Oegyein]

"I'm so glad Zules didn't let Amber get hot by a car! :3"

Anyway, so Amber then proceeds to jump into oncoming traffic for money.

 

[Zules]

Gee, what a charming pick up (pun(?) unintended). Hah! I never really thought about all the ways one can use not being able to die to their advantage! I’d probably try to capitalise off of it and charge people to see me jump off a building or casually walk into a wood chipper.

Imagine being a purple curse guardian to one of the most debilitating curses known to mankind and deimonkind and using your powers to put lettuce in people’s teeth.

Sounds about Dzuna to me!

It’s to get out our party hats and dancing shoes because CHAPTER 20?! And with a seemingly non-threatening, innocuous, harmless, benign cover?! 20 chapters in and I know better than to trust Zules to NOT deliver us heartbreak on a silver platter but my hopes are bundled in layers of bubble wrap so she can’t shatter them with maximal damage this time.

Also, are we being treated with an entire chapter of Amber?! She looks like she’s going to go do some zorbing, blobbing, powerbocking and every other cute-sounding extreme sport because that just sounds like what Amber would do if she found out she couldn’t die.

Remind me to make a pit stop in Rushing Springs for my share of Hortative Mugs. I hope ‘Your “someday” is somebody today’ is still available for purchase.

So when the post office marks “Return to Sender”, it all goes to this guy?!

Is everyone - Amber included - forgetting that she literally survived an entire night cuffed to a hospital bed with Exvulnerum?! I’m sure she can survive a literal ride in the park…

… Unless there’s roadkill involved?

What would happen if someone with Exvulnerum moved to Mars? Does Dzuna provide interspace services? Do Curiosity Rovers feel pain? Can Kings of Pain sleep through the night if they took a tonne of melatonin gummies???

Wait, how is this happening?! Unless Sender is driving agonizingly slow that she can feel every hurting animal and insect (do insects count? Am I not allowed to squash bugs around Amber?) in the area? Or is it Sender???

So, it IS from Sender? Is this man hoarding kidney stones?! How is he handling the pain so well?!

Drop her off at Morning!!!

Poor Amber… But I really hope she doesn’t think that going to a hot travel spot is a good idea…

Can I offer you a nice Hortative Mug in this trying time?

Just to make sure that we’re all on the same page here, who’s “he”? Sender?! EVEY?!

YOU. HAD. ONE. JOB. !!!.

Where did her purse go though?! That’s literally the only thing on her person, how did she not notice that it’s been missing for what I assume was a long ride with Sender?! Did I miss some purse-dropping pickpocketing???

A map!!! But what is she going to do? Walk on foot? Follow the train tracks? Sounds familiar???

A map!!! A very well drawn one too! And I wonder if following the train tracks is going to lead her straight to someone…

I know she’s thinking out loud but moments like this still make me want to ask what the thought process behind this is…

Honestly, at this point, it would be much faster to just get hit by the train and ride in good ol’ fashioned Wile E Coyote style

NEXT READLOG POST: > here >

 

[Rateus]

(I like Tamara).

 

[Storel]

Tamara said:

Honestly, at this point, it would be much faster to just get hit by the train and ride in good ol’ fashioned Wile E Coyote style

That made me laugh out loud, which hardly ever happens. A quiet snicker is usually the limit of my laughter when reading. Well done, Tamara!

 

[Zules]

I was going to start singing the “Dumb ways to die” theme song here but oh wait…

P.S. What would happen if a King of Pain died in a terribly horribly gruesome way? If he/she just decided to jump into a wood chipper… would they just… reassemble themselves?

Whaaa? Who said I was disappointed that we wouldn’t be able to put the limb generation theory to the test?! Gee!

Just when I started thinking that we’d never have to see her again… speak of the devil, amirite? Also, where did that blanket spawn from? Because I know damn well that Dzuna doesn’t care about slumber comfort…

Is this where The Amazing Amber begins?! Sign me up!

Tell me why I Googled “sunrise euphoria” expecting it to be a real thing… I’m falling for Dzuna’s lies too!

Also, how is the word “smug” so perfectly drawn in 2D?!

And how is the word “cringe” drawn so perfectly in this one?! …Alright Mrs. Hygiene, how long have you been waiting to use that line?

HAH! Miss Girl was too busy running on the other side of the law that she forgot what it was even for. Can we have a spin-off series with Cop Amber and Shenanigan Amber titled “Call an amberlance - but not for me!” ?

NEXT READLOG POST: > here >

 

[bicyclesonthemoon]

What would happen if someone with Exvulnerum moved to Mars? Does Dzuna provide interspace services?

! I see someone is wondering the same kind of question that I did as well:

Exact conditions for nighttime curse trigger

Ok, let's ruin the fun by overanalysing everything :) I wrote Just realized: You know what is worse than "just" having Exvulnerum? Having Exvulnerum in the arctic circle during the polar night. A polar night can be a really long, night. combine it with the curse, and you have a terrible...

cresnov.com

So there is more of us thinking like this.

 

[Zules]

Consider that a donation to his hortative mug business - I’d say it’s being put to good use!

Uh oh - is it a bird? Is it a plane? Is it a hospital? Is it a Wanted poster of herself? Is it Evey???

Uh-oh! Well don’t just stand there! Do something!!!

Girl, run around the block! The world is round!

Is this the return of… THE HOT DOG SONG?!

Gee Zules, I had no idea you were quite the lyricist! This sounds like the theme song of my workout routine (or it would be if I had one).

And Amber just figured out a cash grab to raise her train fare! But I wonder how popular the hot dog song on a ukelele would be?