Tamara said:I’M BACK! It’s been almost a YEAR since Zules has kept me away from Exvulnerum but I’M HERE NOW. I’ve been doing some reflecting for the past 30 seconds and I just realised that I’ve been readlogging Exvulnerum since 2019! Back then, I was a broke college student with no life who was trying to find some entertainment (and $$$) after classes reviewing things for people and now here I am working my first job as a corporate slave trying to find some entertainment after work reviewing things for people. Thanks for giving me that, Exvulnerum! Btw, I went back to the very first chapter that I readlogged and - cringe! I wonder if I’ll be cringing at this one too in three years? Remind me to check back in when it’s 2025. But, on the other hand, I always wondered if people really did find it any entertaining to read someone else’s reactions to a comic and now I know that it actually kind of, sort of, maybe is (as narcissistic as that sounds).
Anyway, you’re not here to read about me! Let’s put the spotlight back on our dynamic duo who I’ve missed oh so very much! Evember! Should I be worried about the fact that this chapter is called “Something Ugly”. We’ve had terrible, horrible chapters and their titles weren’t even as scary as this one is. Haven’t we already had enough something uglies?! Why do we have an entire chapter dedicated to it this time?! What are you doing to us, Zules??? What are you going to do to us?!?!
Tamara said:Oh Amber, if only you knew what we knew! Actually, all of you! If only you all knew what we knew; Exvulnerum would only be 10 pages long. Ugh, the fact that out of everything we have witnessed over the past 18 chapters from suspected werewolves to monstrous scorpions, it was Dzuna who managed to dull Amber’s spark. Screw you, Dzuna! Where’s the hot dog song when we need it?!
Tamara said:Uh oh, I hope Amber sees what Dzuna’s doing here; Taylor Swift wrote a whole 10-minute song about it. People who don’t want you to suffer don’t use guillotines on you!
Tamara said:Anything? Like anything, anything? Can she make people fall in love or do the rules from Aladdin apply in this universe too? Couldn’t she make the King fall in love with whoever (like the undead hobo or modern-day Hitler) and then let the curse be transferred so they can all live their happy ever afters? I think I’m blessed to be on the extreme end of the introvert spectrum because I could happily live a forever life in a desert in the middle of nowhere if I had the curse. If things get lonely, I’ll always have Dzuna and her shenanigans! She can build me a minimalist palace and get me a lifetime Netflix subscription.
I wonder what Dzuna’s definition of fun is?! She definitely seems like she has the backstory of being the kid who ate glue and drowned little kittens.
NEXT READLOG POST: > here >Tamara said:A lot of uncomfortable things have happened in this story but somehow a parent saying that they needed to have “the talk” with their daughter about men is one of the most uncomfortable for me. Oh, men. One day they’re all sweet and romantic and the next day they leave you writhing in pain with a centuries-old curse.
Tamara said:All that money and the Istobals couldn’t afford marriage counselling?! If only you knew, Mrs. Istobal. If only you knew. But I do feel for this woman, I really do. I hope her Evey is out there somewhere! Don’t let your husband stop you from finding the love of your life!
Tamara said:I mean, I don’t know what she did to have her own house and her own automobile but I don’t think Mr. Istobal’s love was completely profitless for her. Good thing not every man out there is Mr. Istobal, eh? *cough Cygnus cough* I’d agree with the matriarch here if she was talking about someone other than Evey. Otherwise, shush! Let your young teenage daughter live her young teenage girl experience (even if it is riddled with an unusual amount of supernatural curses and fantastical beasts)!
Tamara said:Omg, woman! An adolescent boy who you think gave your daughter the mandatory young love heartbreak does not deserve the same wrath as your absent husband! Leave them alone! But to be fair, if Amber was actually screwed over mentally and emotionally by a guy, I do find comfort in the fact that she has a mother who will look out for her. But still! Your motherly affairs are not required right now!
Tamara said:Gee, sexist much? I wonder what she thinks of her own sons? Deal with it promptly by all means but let Amber go do what she needs to do!
NEXT READLOG POST: > here >Tamara said:Yay, she’s finally leaving! Go! Shoo, shoo! Is this when Evey is going to catch up with them? Is this where we’re going to have our next Evember moment?! Let’s gooooo!
Tamara said:Umm… Evey? If you’re going to show up, now would be a very good time to do so.
Tamara said:Knock knock! Who’s there? Evey in his Chevy (or it better be because we’re wasting too much time already)!
Yeah, sorry about that. I’ll leave the joke-writing up to Zules from now on.
Tamara said:IT’S THE WOLFMAN! IT’S EEEEEVVVVVEEEEEMMMMMBBBBBEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m just going to stare at this page for another minute and pretend that everything is alright with the world again.
Tamara said:I wonder how Evey is going to explain that he couldn’t help Amber on the worst night of her life because he was… hibernating. Where were Dirty Dan and Pinhead Larry when we needed them?!
NEXT READLOG POST: > here >Tamara said:“I’m sorry, Amber. I messed up and fell in love with you. That was never the plan!” <3
Fun fact: I once unironically used “plummeting moons” in a normal conversation. I hope you’re happy that you’ve indoctrinated me with your wacky vocabulary, Zules!
Tamara said:I just want to take a moment to say that these 5 panels of a 2D comic are so well done that I can vividly visualise Amber reliving her torture in the hospital and being on the verge of a nervous breakdown due to the trauma triggered by the memory of it. Everything from the eyes darting back and forth to the hyperventilating; it’s all so real! Only you, Zules! Only you!
Tamara said:… I’m sure she’ll be able to stop thinking about the crippling, agonising pain that would have killed any normal, mortal human being but, oh yeah, she cannot die so she had no choice but to live with it! No big deal! And oh yeah, it’s also kind of, sort of, maybe, perhaps your fault! No biggie! Don’t worry about it!
Tamara said:I know it’s not exactly the same but it’s amusing to see the parallel between now and when Evey was the King of Pain (hah, this is just the attention deficit talking but for a split second, I mentally pronounced ‘pain’ in French as in ‘bread’ and being the King of Bread sounds a lot more ideal). Evey couldn’t quite tell her why he needed to go where he needed to go when he needed to go there; it was almost the exact same back-and-forth between the two with the “We need to go!” “But-” “Let’s go!” “But-” Ah, I’ve missed these two!
Tamara said:Hmm… Judging by the nature of this situation and the title of this chapter (I’m still not over that, the inevitable dread that I do not know of is looming in the back of my mind), I wonder what’s really in Calit?
NEXT READLOG POST: > here >Tamara said:An unsolicited, genuine compliment from Evey?! Is this a fever dream?! Please excuse the noise that is my fangirling!
Tamara said:*FANGIRLING INTENSIFIES*
No words, just incomprehensible noises.
Tamara said:HAH. Don’t worry about the purple ghostess! The hot dog song is to Dzuna what crosses and holy water are to regular demons.
Tamara said:I was going to ask Evey if he was sure about that but then he beat me to it. Ah Dzuna, you know you’re a special kind of evil when nothing nice can be said about you without a disclaimer!
Tamara said:*Googles tree nether regions* Oh my!
I’m convinced Dzuna dreads going back to Evey as much as he dreads her coming back to him so this is a win-win situation she’s playing at! But will Amber buy it? Let’s find out…
Tamara said:Ugh, Dzuna. Why are you anywhere?!
Tamara said:I’ve never been the King of Pain and therefore, I cannot judge the things one would do to get rid of the curse… but damnit Evey. You’re being your own prosecutor in this case!
NEXT READLOG POST: > here >Tamara said:I see that Dzuna is permanently in her mean girl era and nobody is here for it. Burn her at the stake! Are all curse guardians like this? What would happen if you put two Dzuna-like curse guardians together? Would they out-curse-guardian each other?
Well, I hate to give it to her but she does have a point…
Tamara said:YOU resolved and are causing us to suffer horrendously, Dzuna PurpleGhostess.
You! No one else but you!
And lest we forget the things she has done to cause pain to the already suffering King of Pain… Tell ‘em, Evey! Tell ‘em!
Tamara said:Can we all take a very long moment to appreciate the character development here?! I’ve been waiting YEARS for these two to arrive where they are (well, minus one of them having the curse and all that) and it’s finally happening!!! Shut up and kiss, you two!
Did the understanding and compassion in this room repel Dzuna?
Tamara said:*HEAVY BREATHING* *INTENSIFIED FANGIRLING* *SCREAMING, CRYING, THROWING UP* OOOOOMMMMMGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If this isn’t the greatest testament of anyone’s love (Evey transferring the curse to Amber and Amber wanting to bear his pain for him) then I don’t know what is!
My heart rate: 120bpm. My standards: raised.
NEXT READLOG POST: > here >Tamara said:Dangerously hitching rides on truck beds and gifting rodents to each other! Oh my! Probably the most twisted things that have happened in this story other than setting an entire building on fire and burning people alive just so one person could feel the pain of them all! Shiver me timbers!
Tamara said:So, Dzuna’s game plan is to convince someone with Exvulnerum (who quite possibly experienced one of the worst episodes of it) that someone else who had Exvulenerum is the bad guy for wanting to get rid of it? Seems like a solid plan! How does Dzuna manage to talk so much without a mouth?!
Tamara said:Gee, for some reason, I never even considered the possibility of a baby being eligible to inherit Exvulnerum. Surely Zules wouldn’t be that evil?! Let’s say that a baby did get cursed, I’d like to comfort myself by assuming that the baby would instantly transfer it back to their parent/guardian. Right?! Right. Also, Evey is a literal kid who bore this curse just after he witnessed his father unalive himself. You can’t blame the guy for his 2% skimmed evil.
Tamara said:Why do you do this to us, Zules? Why? Can someone just read the rest of the comic for me and let me know where the happy part that I can fast-forward to is? I’ll give you $3 and half a Snickers bar for your service.
Tamara said:The amount of secondhand mortification I’m feeling right now for a fictional 2D character is unreal.
Tamara said:I don’t know how and why Evey is still standing there, I would be halfway across the country by now if I were him.
Tamara said:Evey in the last two panels is an embodiment of me at 2am remembering that one cringey thing I did on a random Wednesday back in 2016. I’d quite literally die if I had a curse deimon in purple leggings play a flashback of it with an audience.