Zules gets Tamara to read Exvulnerum

Zules

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THE FORUM DEMANDS BLOOD...

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Tamara said:
I’M BACK! It’s been almost a YEAR since Zules has kept me away from Exvulnerum but I’M HERE NOW. I’ve been doing some reflecting for the past 30 seconds and I just realised that I’ve been readlogging Exvulnerum since 2019! Back then, I was a broke college student with no life who was trying to find some entertainment (and $$$) after classes reviewing things for people and now here I am working my first job as a corporate slave trying to find some entertainment after work reviewing things for people. Thanks for giving me that, Exvulnerum! Btw, I went back to the very first chapter that I readlogged and - cringe! I wonder if I’ll be cringing at this one too in three years? Remind me to check back in when it’s 2025. But, on the other hand, I always wondered if people really did find it any entertaining to read someone else’s reactions to a comic and now I know that it actually kind of, sort of, maybe is (as narcissistic as that sounds).



Anyway, you’re not here to read about me! Let’s put the spotlight back on our dynamic duo who I’ve missed oh so very much! Evember! Should I be worried about the fact that this chapter is called “Something Ugly”. We’ve had terrible, horrible chapters and their titles weren’t even as scary as this one is. Haven’t we already had enough something uglies?! Why do we have an entire chapter dedicated to it this time?! What are you doing to us, Zules??? What are you going to do to us?!?!

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Tamara said:
Oh Amber, if only you knew what we knew! Actually, all of you! If only you all knew what we knew; Exvulnerum would only be 10 pages long. Ugh, the fact that out of everything we have witnessed over the past 18 chapters from suspected werewolves to monstrous scorpions, it was Dzuna who managed to dull Amber’s spark. Screw you, Dzuna! Where’s the hot dog song when we need it?!

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Tamara said:
Uh oh, I hope Amber sees what Dzuna’s doing here; Taylor Swift wrote a whole 10-minute song about it. People who don’t want you to suffer don’t use guillotines on you!

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Tamara said:
Anything? Like anything, anything? Can she make people fall in love or do the rules from Aladdin apply in this universe too? Couldn’t she make the King fall in love with whoever (like the undead hobo or modern-day Hitler) and then let the curse be transferred so they can all live their happy ever afters? I think I’m blessed to be on the extreme end of the introvert spectrum because I could happily live a forever life in a desert in the middle of nowhere if I had the curse. If things get lonely, I’ll always have Dzuna and her shenanigans! She can build me a minimalist palace and get me a lifetime Netflix subscription.



I wonder what Dzuna’s definition of fun is?! She definitely seems like she has the backstory of being the kid who ate glue and drowned little kittens.

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Tamara said:
A lot of uncomfortable things have happened in this story but somehow a parent saying that they needed to have “the talk” with their daughter about men is one of the most uncomfortable for me. Oh, men. One day they’re all sweet and romantic and the next day they leave you writhing in pain with a centuries-old curse.
NEXT READLOG POST: > here >
 
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Zules

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6847

Tamara said:
All that money and the Istobals couldn’t afford marriage counselling?! If only you knew, Mrs. Istobal. If only you knew. But I do feel for this woman, I really do. I hope her Evey is out there somewhere! Don’t let your husband stop you from finding the love of your life!

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Tamara said:
I mean, I don’t know what she did to have her own house and her own automobile but I don’t think Mr. Istobal’s love was completely profitless for her. Good thing not every man out there is Mr. Istobal, eh? *cough Cygnus cough* I’d agree with the matriarch here if she was talking about someone other than Evey. Otherwise, shush! Let your young teenage daughter live her young teenage girl experience (even if it is riddled with an unusual amount of supernatural curses and fantastical beasts)!

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Tamara said:
Omg, woman! An adolescent boy who you think gave your daughter the mandatory young love heartbreak does not deserve the same wrath as your absent husband! Leave them alone! But to be fair, if Amber was actually screwed over mentally and emotionally by a guy, I do find comfort in the fact that she has a mother who will look out for her. But still! Your motherly affairs are not required right now!

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Tamara said:
Gee, sexist much? I wonder what she thinks of her own sons? Deal with it promptly by all means but let Amber go do what she needs to do!

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Tamara said:
Yay, she’s finally leaving! Go! Shoo, shoo! Is this when Evey is going to catch up with them? Is this where we’re going to have our next Evember moment?! Let’s gooooo!
NEXT READLOG POST: > here >
 
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Zules

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6868

Tamara said:
Umm… Evey? If you’re going to show up, now would be a very good time to do so.

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Tamara said:
Knock knock! Who’s there? Evey in his Chevy (or it better be because we’re wasting too much time already)!

Yeah, sorry about that. I’ll leave the joke-writing up to Zules from now on.

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Tamara said:
IT’S THE WOLFMAN! IT’S EEEEEVVVVVEEEEEMMMMMBBBBBEEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m just going to stare at this page for another minute and pretend that everything is alright with the world again.

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Tamara said:
I wonder how Evey is going to explain that he couldn’t help Amber on the worst night of her life because he was… hibernating. Where were Dirty Dan and Pinhead Larry when we needed them?!

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Tamara said:
“I’m sorry, Amber. I messed up and fell in love with you. That was never the plan!” <3



Fun fact: I once unironically used “plummeting moons” in a normal conversation. I hope you’re happy that you’ve indoctrinated me with your wacky vocabulary, Zules!
 
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