Zules gets Tamara to read Exvulnerum

[Zules]

It has been approximately 8 months and 23 days (in other words, “too long”) since my eyes were last blessed with a page of Exvulnerum so I’m having a moment over here trying to collect my thoughts and recollect my memories while keeping my excitement on a leash. Well, the last sentence was a lie because I cannot contain my excitement and I’m not even going to try! It’s turbo at 9,000rpm right now and my emotions are bucked up to ride this roller coaster of an adventure after being starved of the adrenaline for so long!

IT’S EVEMBERRRRRRRRRRRR- oops, sorry, too loud? Let me fix that, IT’S EVEMBERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! Am I physically, mentally and emotionally stable enough for what’s about to come?! Probably not but 16 chapters of this comic has made me immune to the plot twists to the point where I’m almost craving the unpredictable!

LET THE RIDE BEGIN!

How cliché would it be for me to make a joke about social distancing right about now because I can already hear the choir of groans in my head! But hey, glad to see Evey being a responsible, law-abiding citizen (and bonus points for not eternally dooming Amber with a *ahem* unfavourable curse)!

Aaaaaa, I cannot believe I am seeing the two of them in the very same panel again after what feels like eons! And not to mention the fact that Cygnus had been taking up that precious space! Psh! Okay, admittedly it’s been a long time and I have once again forgotten how I’m supposed to be feeling about him but I have a flair for the dramatic...

So, Evey seems to be standing in a room with an injured Amber while it’s dark out; he is not here to pass on a very strong *ahem* message but I don’t suppose this is a friendly drop-in either so what’s the purpose of Evey’s visit?!

Find out on Page 779 (hopefully)!

Aaaawwwwhhhh! Well, this page doesn’t have the answers I was expecting but somehow I’m getting something so much better and that is Evember just as I remember them! Also, I totally did not take a solid five seconds to fangirl over how concerned Evey looks that Amber is hurt; I have no idea where you heard that.

Shh. And the middle panel! Hah! I’m saving that for whenever I need a meme to describe the awkward morning after to my friends! ‘So…. What now?’

Yes, I do like your room very much, Amber (andtotallynotbecauseyouandeveyareinittogether)!

Look at the sparkle in her eyes! And the kaleidoscopic TV static background around her! Ah, I think the lockdown has me so starved that I’m trying to live ‘the best years of my life’ through my favourite fictional characters so go get it, gurl! And if anybody asked me to summarize Exvulnerum, Amber, Evey and Evember up using two pictures; I’d just show them the last two panels!

Aaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Okay, I’m sorry that whoever is reading this might be expecting some top-tier quality review from a professional writer and is instead getting different combinations of ‘aaaaaa’ but that’s what my genuine primal reactions are on every page!!! I don’t remember if I’ve ever witnessed a “we need to talk” moment between these two because it seems to be an unwritten rule for them to just shrug things off like they never happened so aaaaa! Welp, I don’t want to be celebrating too early so I’m just going to go ahead and flip the page now!

I.knew.it. Why can’t I be wrong about these two for once?! I had cashed out all my emotions to invest them into whatever conversation that I thought was about to happen and now I’m a broke shareholder. Sigh.

I have to agree with Amber here because good?! Did I miss some sadistic character regression here or is Evey just going through another one of his curse-induced mood swing phases? Hmm. I don’t want to say anything too optimistic (and jinx it yet again!) about Evey having good underlying intentions but let a girl have some hope!!!

Hmmm… HMmm… HMMM… A few pages ago, I would have been fangirling about another Evember getaway but something about this legal kidnapping isn’t sitting right with me... Could it be Evey’s 180-degree change in personality within a matter of minutes, could it be his unknown intentions or could it just be the fact that, well, the dude sneaks into her room in a relatively well-secured zone in the dark after ghosting her for ages only to tell her he has a whole itinerary planned for them?! And of all places, why Calit? I don’t know about this, Amber… I don’t know.

ASDFGHJKL! As a veteran of Exvulnerum, I know all too well how this is going to play out and I’ll put all my money on the chance that she’s not talking about Evey but can we just appreciate how this scene just played out?! Everyone else can just go home and take their character arcs with them because Amber’s getting crowned The Queen of Character Development and one of the highest honours a Gen Z member in 2021 can bestow; a freaking girlboss!

And I was right! The star of the queen’s speech is Cygnus (who I completely forgot about for a hot minute)! But how fitting is it that it also applies to the ordinary person who is literally right in front of her! A cinematic masterpiece! Zules, you need to go to Hollywood and fix some mistakes they’re making up there because I’d watch the heck out of any movie that you write!

……… I genuinely don’t know what I’m supposed to be feeling right now because my brain is lagging trying to process what’s going on. I have a lot of things that I want to say about Evey over here but the one thing that’s essentially the big question mark hovering over my head is why Evey would go through all this trouble just to take her back home to Calit? Why there and why now?! And why does he want to go with her?!

IS THIS GOING WHERE I THINK IT’S GOING?! It didn’t hit me until he said that her mom is not a ‘factor’… Does this mean, does this really, seriously, actually, truly mean that he wants them to go back to Calit so that he can curse her and she can curse the one she loves most – which I wouldn’t have a problem with except for the fact that the only person I imagine she loves that much is OUR PRECIOUS LITTLE ROBIN.

NO. BACKTRACK! RETROGADE! ABORT MISSION!

NEXT READLOG POST: > here >

 

[Zules]

Was there an opening for jealous, possessive and controlling boyfriend and is Evey auditioning for it right now? I’m already a trainwreck from processing my unproven (and I hope never-to-be proven) hypothesis and I can’t handle another emotional hit right now! Evey, why is your character starting to develop as fast as Amber’s but in the other direction?! Sigh.

Wow, and I thought the last page was a testament to Evey’s newfound bad character. Though I have to admit, the build-up in this page had me on the edge of my seat expecting something far worse than this... but then this is bad enough. Oh boy. What have you gone and done?

Well, if there was ever a chance of Exvulnerum getting passed back to Evey by Amber then I think the boy just went and killed it.

I don’t recall the last time we witnessed Amber being so emotionally vulnerable! I just want to scoop her up and hug her! Somebody whose name doesn’t begin with an ‘e’ and end with a ‘y’, please give this girl a well-deserved hug on my behalf!

Can I hope for Evey to have answers to her question? No. Will I still do it anyway? 100%.

Well, that’s what I get for hoping. Another big fat sike.

But what do we have here? Amber is putting two and two together but will she get a four this time?!

She knows you have the curse… because you told her? He did tell her, didn’t he? That wasn’t a fever dream I had, was it? You messed everything up the moment you decided to cure yourself and potentially her by infecting an innocent little child, Evey. But she knows about it and she still hasn’t run away from you and you probably won’t have to chase her so what’s Plan B? If it involves Robin again, I’m throwing hands!

Also, loving the wallpaper!

Are we finally going to get the conversation we had false hope for at the beginning of this chapter?! I wonder how many of their problems could have been solved instantly by just sitting down and talking about them? But then again, we probably wouldn’t have giant scorpions and bear-wrestling if life was as simple as that. Hmm.

Amber is literally the embodiment of the phrase ‘so close yet so far’! She’s one of those characters in horror movies who you burst your lungs screaming at to get out while they nonchalantly make a sandwich with a killer creeping up on them from behind. But Amber does know about the curse and how to get rid of it, doesn’t she? So, here we have Amber thinking that Caroline is the one person Evey loves the most but is she going to remember or realise the fact that Evey refuses to touch her and finally complete the jigsaw puzzle in her head?!

I didn’t know that introspective Amber is what I needed today but somehow I have been blessed with it! Oh Amber! Is this what parents feel like when they see their children all grown up despite having witnessed every moment of it? And the fact that she mentioned the opossum and admitted that she was in the wrong trying to do something she perceived as morally right! Oh my dear, Amber. You don’t know me but just know that somebody out there is very proud of you!

Is Emotionally Unavailable Evey starting to empathise with Amber? Is he just realising that the seemingly oblivious and over-optimistic Amber had actually felt and understood him all along? I have a feeling all of this is only going to make him love her even more and I don’t know what outcome to expect from that…

Huh?! Have we ever witnessed Evey crying before?! Have we??!! I would think such a sight would be a core memory for me! Ugh, Amber, your empathy is something I’m both envious and proud of! He may be your friend but I wouldn’t so blindly trust someone who just pulled an Erratic Evey on me especially with the knowledge that they bear the Mother of all Curses and are extremely susceptible to falling in love with my impeccable wit and charm! I’m so glad I’m not Amber in this situation because even with the retrospect, I cannot decide what I would do if I were in her place. Bless her heart!

You can trust Amber to only be taken by surprise by a fashion disaster as opposed to everything else that happened this night! Also, it really does make me happy to know that Amber was always thinking about him regardless of how crazy her new life was! Why are forbidden romances the most tempting?!

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, YOUNG LADY?! TAKE. THAT. HAND. BACK. !!!.

I have no words, only screams.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

NEXT READLOG POST: > here >

 

[Zules]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- okay I’m done, I’ll just internally scream the rest. Is that the face of realisation?! The face of “Holy ****, I’M the one he loves the most in this realm of existence?!” Or is the face of impending doom?! “Holy ****, I’ve been royally screwed over and am in the first stage of grief so please don’t attempt to contact me for the next 3 business days”.

THAT MEANS WHAT?! Boy, I sure am glad I don’t have to wait another week or half of one to turn the page! My heart goes out to the people who experience death and resurrection every other week at the hands of Zules’ cruel suspense tactics!

Congratulations on realising the better of the two things that are in line to be deciphered by you and as much as I spent approximately 805 pages saving most of my fangirl energy waiting for this moment, this is not how I wanted it to be!!! Realise the other thing!!! Because you and I both know you can’t say the same about Evey!!! And you and I both know who you can say that about instead!!!

Wow, of all the realisations the girl could have come to, it is one I have never even thought about before! Ooooo, the things I would do if I had exvulnerum! I would be answering the call of the void or as the French so exquisitely phrase it, ‘l'appel du vide’. The “unexplainable desire” to jump when on the edge of a cliff or run into oncoming traffic, well, you get the idea. I wonder if we are going to get a spin-off series of The Amazing Adamantine Amber! And the part that I am looking forward to the most, Amber vs. Dzuna face-offs!!!

Yes darling, we all were and still are expecting you to be mad but it’s probably only a matter of time until you understand why. I’ve read enough fairytales and watched enough Disney to know that nothing good happens after sunset!

Ah Evey. I have already learned that one of the unwritten rules of Exvulnerum is not to say anything bad out loud because you’re essentially just jinxing it by speaking it into existence; why haven’t you learnt this yet?! Shh!

And if you look on this side, you will see that a real life internal transfiguration is about to take place! Grab your tickets, everybody! You’re about to watch one hell of a show!

Aaaaaaaaaaaa! And this is not a happy Aaaaaaaaaaaa! My menstrual cramps can be crippling enough to have me consider a visit to the great beyond; I can’t imagine having to endure ANYTHING else on top of that! Amber, what are your favourite flowers? I’ll buy some to lay on your grave.

Asdfghjkl, it’s only going to get worse, isn’t it?! How many more pages of this are there?! I’m cringing just laying here comfortably tucked in bed in an alternate dimension away from all this pain!

NOT THE FROG! How many victims?! Does this mean that Amber is going to experience being mauled by a predator and eaten alive?! ASDFGHJKL. MAKE IT STOP!

You know, despite Evey being tortured by a literal burning building full of people, I think this is the best depiction I’ve seen of the extent of exvulnerum. It must be the fact that all the pain I’m seeing here is so very relatable (and I definitely don’t ever want to relate to being burnt alive!) on top of the gradual build-up of minor inconveniences. If I ever had Exvulverum, I’d be Undead Hobo #2.

AND NOT THE BUNNY!!! Zules, you have a questionable amount of sadistic creativity!

Yes girl, he did hurt her but that’s a story you’re going to have to bag up all your emotions, throw them in the trash and sit down for. Please, please, please don’t tell me that they’re going to take her to the hospital because I think I’m just going to disconnect and leave Zules on read for the rest of my life if she puts Amber through all of that on the first night.

NEXT READLOG POST: > here >

 

[Marken]

Please, please, please don’t tell me that they’re going to take her to the hospital

~multiple people

 

[Zules]

Hah! Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more painful, I have to see this guy! And do you know who this guy has to see? A therapist.

How hard is Cygnus flicking himself for Amber to be able to discern the pain of it out of everything she is going through?! The boy needs more than a therapist; is there a shrink on the premises?!

Come on Evey! Stop, drop and roll and put on a performance that is worthy of being on The Exorcist and freak everyone out badly enough for them to drop Amber and run for the hills!!! Do something! Anything!!

The ambulance?! R.I.P. Amber. You will be missed. Your life, albeit short-lived, was a meaningful one and you will forever be in our hearts.

(Yes I know how exvulnerum works, don’t @ me).

Ride in the ambulance with her and then hijack the vehicle! Stop it at the side of a road and politely ask the EMTs to kindly step out of the vehicle then proceed to floor the accelerator until you are miles away from civilization!!! But be sure to return the ambulance after dawn!

Girl, there are more important things you should be focusing on than Evey who has already been labelled as not-a-threat! Evey, you’re not helping yourself or Amber by just standing there and telling everyone that the girl who is screaming in pain and agony that she does not need to go to the one place they logically assume can help her!

(Also, the little Evey in the speech bubble! The boy really just spoke his shock into existence!).

Is this really happening?! Zules, I am this close to disconnecting from everything if even a single strand of Amber’s hair touches hospital air! Ugh, Evey is my only hope now and he better not disappoint!!!

Unless exvulnerum has some long-lasting side effects of teleportation or super speed, how exactly is this boy planning on catching up with the wee-woo wagon?! Think, Evey, think! You’re vulnerable now; you can’t just go for it anymore!

What was I just saying! Hmm, perhaps I haven’t quite learnt my lesson about not saying things out loud when it comes to Exvulnerum because the comic has ears... That looks like it hurts.

My oh my, Dzuna always remains true to her dramatic main character appearances! Well, at least she’s here and not riding in the back of an ambulance- nope. I’m not going to finish that sentence. Poor Evey, he could have had his first good night’s sleep in a very long time but it seems as though exvulnerum haunts its exes just like the rest of us. Sigh.

Dzuna, oh Dzuna. You can try as hard as you want but you will never be the star of the show. Without Evey, there’s no Exvulnerum and without Exvulnerum, there’s no you! Like it or not, it seems as though you’re all mutually dependent upon each other in a sick, twisted way so you’re all going to have to buckle up for this ride!

I love the determination but unless he’s going to strap a harness on Dzuna and fly her to the ambulance, I don’t see how he’s going to make it. Say, I wonder if positive manifestation works as well as its counterpart? *fingers crossed* Evey is going to find the ambulance and rescue Amber and I don’t know where it’s going to go from there but I see sunshine and rainbows and a bright Dzuna-less, Weston-less, Cygus-less future for the two of them (and Robin).

Oh Evey, what an uncomfortable bed to lie on! Sleep tight, you have a lot of it to catch up on.

Dzuna, you don’t know me but if you do anything to Amber, I will find you and I will delete your entire existence from whichever server it’s on!

I don’t know where Dzuna is going to find company that actually appreciates her but I hope she never leaves that place! Does Dzuna have her own version of Dzuna in her life? Some kind of personal demon (or the demon’s equivalent of a demon)? I’d kill to see ONE panel of Dzuna being tortured by someone with double-fold the evil. And awh, look at how much Amber wants Evey even in the worst of times! Girl, you need to get out of there!

57 ex-kings still alive and breathing?! Were they all just running around and playing tag with each other?! Huh??? Welp. And hey, it’s our favourite hobo! I wonder what he’s up to these days? Perhaps we are going to find out…

And to the guy who dared to even think about meatless tacos... you deserve pain.

Is that Lupe the Librarian???!!! And is that Dolores the undead hobo’s (I’m sorry, I really don’t remember his name at this point) ex???!!! What in the world?! Wait, so does this mean that Lupe knows about exvulnerum and that’s what the whole fascination in the supernatural and mythical creatures was all about?!

PLOT. ENHANCEMENT.

NEXT READLOG POST: > here >

 

[EstherTb]

I remember guessing the Dolores Lupe twist before it was revealed, this was such a great moment because of the clues left by Zules

 

[Zules]

Spoiler: This is my favorite clue

 

[Zules]

Do rich people always look so presentable in the comfort of their own home or is it just Dolores? I don’t even wear fancy ponchos (I’m too poor to even know what that thing is called) and high heels on my special nights out! And are those amulets or just very decorative shoelaces tied around Lupe’s shoes?! I know there are bigger concerns than the sisters’ fashion choices but I honestly can’t focus on anything else right now!

And ranking #5 in the list of Top 10 Most Dangerous Jobs; we have librarian! Does anyone else remember the librarian from Monsters University? I’d share Lupe’s sentiment if that thing was my colleague.

Yes sister dearest… what news…?

Ah hah, so she’s climbing the authority ladder to be the Grand Duchess of Amathae and she’s dressed for the occasion! All the best, girlie! I hope there are no giant scorpions in your backyard when you make it! Lupe... we love your spirit but you’re a little late to the party here, hun.

Zules, you should totally use the left half of the last panel to promote your comic!

Typical big sister behaviour! And I’m not surprised to see that it doesn’t go away with age… Well, I’m glad neither of my sisters is as supernatural-obsessed as this one but I do have one who is wayyyyyy too into astrology. Why do I feel like Lupe has the potential to unintentionally, accidentally be more of a danger to Dolores than anyone else?

I agree with Dolores’ sentiment but she seems a little too nonchalant about the fact that it is out there in the open? Especially since she wants to become the most powerful woman in Amathae; I don’t think that’s possible without having some obsessive fans and opportunists idolizing her like Joe did. Also, Lupe is starting to scare me a little... I wonder if she’s going to stand by her intentions when she realises who the new king is?

Oh, she’s serious serious! Petition to have Lupe somehow inhibit exvulnerum? I don’t even know how that circle is going to be drawn but with the number of plot twists in this story, you can’t blame a girl for dreaming!

Props to Dolores for not funding her sister’s delusions though! Well, perhaps she isn’t too delusional but I can’t think of anything good that would come out of giving Lupe access to all the resources she thinks she needs...

Oh no, I do not like that big fat yellow exclamation mark! Go away idea! Shoo!

Am I enjoying watching Dzuna be a third-party viewer of Dzuna slander or what?! Hah! Well, we all know she has a flair for the dramatic and I don’t think she is going to be watching from the sidelines for too long!

Also, what’s happening to Amber while we are having this outdated conversation?! Aaaaaa!

You know, I was actually going to make the very same point five pages back but then, and I really mean to cause no harm to anyone, that would require somebody to fall in love with Joe and frankly (again, no offense), I really don’t see that happening. But grr, I know we are all motivated by self-interest and exvulnerum would prove that more than ever but how annoying is it that they wouldn’t bury each other if one of them had the curse but they’re more than ready to do it to someone else!!!

Do I need to be an ex-king to summon Dzuna or can I just call upon her like Dolores just did? Dzuna? Dzuna? Dzuna? Should I try this but holding a candle in front of a mirror in the dark? Dzuna? Maybe she’s shy...

I mean, as much as I dislike Dolores, I dislike Dzuna even more so I have to silently cheer after the delivery of that line. Silently though, I’m not looking for any repercussions on this lovely summer evening.

Why did I just spend a solid 10 seconds proper laughing at that last panel?! Ahahahahahahahahahaha! Okay, I don’t know whether this is a good thing or a bad thing because on one hand, Dzuna isn’t directing Dolores and Lupe to the real king of pain but on the other hand, Evey might just end up directing them to her anyway. And heaven knows what they are going to do to Evey now that he’s vulnerable again! Definitely a bad thing!

Wow, this is the first time Lupe said something that made perfect sense. Get with the times, Dolores! And there goes my momentary hope that Lupe is not a lost cause; how exactly are you going to kill a demon you can’t even see?!

ASDFGHJKL, as much as I have been eagerly awaiting the first encounter between Amber and Dzuna, I really don’t know if I am ready for it! Have another aaa; Aaaaaaaaaa!!!

NEXT READLOG POST: > here >

 

[EstherTb]

You know I totally forgot about this scene....Lupe and Dolores are totally the antagonists now

 

[Zules]

Woah! Zules, could you loan me two of your brain cells for a while? I’ll even pay to rent them because mine cannot even begin to fathom technicalities to this extent, let alone create them! And don’t tell Dzuna just yet, let her have fun thinking she is the main character of her own story before the big reveal. Huehuehue!

Amber looks like a beautiful tragedy here. Majestic and glowing in all her glory on the outside but the pained expression and broken crown would tell you a different story. Please don’t break her and us in this chapter, Zules! I’m begging you!

We've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, lead astray, run amok and flat out deceived! How could you do this to her?! And I know I said I would disconnect but you and I both know damn well that I am way too invested to gamble all my stakes now!!! How could you do this to me? To all of us? To Amber???!!!

Is she restrained in a straitjacket? Handcuffed to her hospital bed?! She needs to throw herself out of the nearest window ASAP if there’s nothing holding her back! Oh, the poor thing! But wait, I know this shouldn’t be a concern as of now but would she still feel pain if someone is under anaesthesia and cannot feel their own pain? Hmm. Nonetheless, the poor thing! Why is it only 1.24am?! When is the sun going to rise?!

Awwwwwwwwwwww! She’s screaming for Evey when she’s in the worst of pain! While this dude is in the middle of the King of All Naps. Ms. Treble, if you go home, please take Amber with you!

Ugh, this looks like a scene straight out of The Exorcist minus the green vomit! Why isn’t Amber telling them to get her out of there though?! They’d probably answer to any of her demands at this point just to shut her up! She wouldn’t have been screaming so much while she was in the ambulance either, would she? As ridiculous as it sounds, get her out of there, people!!!

THAT’S HER MOTHER???!!! (I apologise if we have seen her mother before and I genuinely forgot about it and am overreacting now). Does she really think this is something caused by a baseball-related incident?!

Why does the mother look so menacing?! Ugh, I don’t want to say it because nothing good ever comes out of saying it but CAN THINGS GET ANY WORSE?!

 

[Oegyein]

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"Why does her mother look so menacing"

*Amber's mom stands, jojo posed, as purple "づ"'s fill the background*