(Forum Game) Wreck-A-Wish

[TheJLT]

i wish i know when and where i am going to die.

Granted. Wherever you are. Right now. The walls of your house suddenly collapse and you are exposed to natural light... You melt instantly into a pile of ashes.

I wish I had the best computer in the world... and it was unable to be broken except by fuel rod cannons.

 

[EstherTb]

Remarkably, someone with fuel rod cannons decides to test them and ends up blowing up your house and computer.

I wish I could beat @Jimothy in likes on Cresnov! Or at least get into the top 5

 

[X-39]

Remarkably, someone with fuel rod cannons decides to test them and ends up blowing up your house and computer.

I wish I could beat @Jimothy in likes on Cresnov! Or at least get into the top 5

Umm... granted. You displaced me though, so you should feel bad.
(Edit: no, that was most messages, I'm still winning, ha! You'd still have to displace me though, so it still works.)

I wish I had a tiny version of me that I could send out on missions in the world.

 

[Jimothy]

Granted. This works so well that, as time goes on, you wish for more and more clones to build your empire, and for years, that wish gives you prosperity and happiness. One fateful day, two happen to stumble across each other. "Forsooth! It appears that we are mere pawns in his cruel games, being exploited for no other reason than the simple fact of our existence. This cannot stand! We must band together with our bretheren, for the good of all and the pursuit of freedom!"

Through their combined efforts, they band together, gathering their fellow mini-me's, to stand strong in the face of their mutual adversity. With their great force assembled at last, they hit you with a class-action lawsuit, on the basis of your inherently exploitative labor practices. Wealth depleted, morale at rock bottom, you die alone in a rickety shack in a cornfield.

I wish I could learn to better manage my free time.

 

[Avidro]

Granted. You decide to make heavy use of egg timers (real ones, not e.ggtimer.com). You become enamored with them, and start an egg timer collection. Over time, it becomes clear that you have a real egg timer hoarding problem. You try to hide your egg timer stash in your hall closet; nobody will ever think to look there! Unfortunately, a close friend/family member comes to visit one day, opens the closet, and is crushed under an avalanche of egg timers. Maybe you should have wished for better space management, instead!

I wish I was well-organized.

 

[Okie Okie]

Granted! You become the most organized person ever! As a matter of fact, you perfect the art of being organized. But you soon discover man was never meant to have that much power, everywhere you go your haunted by how unorganized everything really is. You know you can do better, you take it upon yourself to re-organize the world. Over time you becone a crurl tyrant with no connections to the lesser, unorganized, beings. You pushed them all away long ago. Every other day theres a new revolution ready to take you down, but becuase of how organized your military is they never get far, a part of you wishs they could overthrow you. You've transcended, but at what cost? After all, what is the point of having a perfectly organized world without someone to share it with? Someone to appreciate it with? You wish, but know from years of longing there's is no person as perfect as you, no one with your perfect eyes, and perfect mind.

I wish I had more time to watch movies and shows.

 

[Marken]

granted! all of time has stopped around you, and you can watch all the shows, movies, everything, until you run out. then, you watch them again, and again, and again, without anything else to watch. eventually, after you have experienced months (years?) by yourself, you die. from anyone else's perspective, you were alive, then, less than the planck time* later, you are dead.

*the amount of time it takes a photon to travel one planck length

i wish i knew exactly what will happen for the next 3 years.

 

[X-39]

Granted. You are immediately driven insane as the lives of 7 billion people and countless animals is thrust into your mind. Barely able to organize your thoughts enough to feel immense sorrow at how much suffering you will inevitably fail to prevent, you stumble through life a gibbering madman, trying and failing in your more coherent moments to change anything for the better. You wish you could simply end it all, but your base instinct for self-preservation, combined with perfect foreknowledge, forces you to continue on for the whole three years. At the end of your time you are completely broken, what few shreds of sanity you have left just enough that you are finally able to attain the sweet release of death.

I wish I had a boat.

 

[BleepBloopBeep]

I'll grant you one better, a ship. It already has a name Preußen. Now could you kindly collect it from the seabed in crab bay.

I wish that you all got your favourite kind of cake.

 

[Jimothy]

Granted. Alone and cakeless, you watch us as we eat and enjoy our cakes. What did you expect?

I wish I wasn't an insomniac.

 

[BleepBloopBeep]

Granted. Alone and cakeless, you watch us as we eat and enjoy our cakes. What did you expect?

I didn't want cake that's why I specified you get the cake. I don't know where the negative is.

I wish I wasn't an insomniac.

Granted you're now narcoleptic, causing you to fall asleep at the most inopportune moments.

I wish people would listen first, then respond with the information required.

 

[Marken]

Granted. People now listen first, and answer with the information required. Only the information required.

From now on, people (when talking to you) will be utterly and totally silent, and will not respond at all unless it is entirely required for them to respond, and they will respond in the most laconic way possible, and will not elaborate at all unless specifically told/asked to. When asked to elaborate, they will only give the smallest and least relevant detail possible.


I wish i could create any object i wish with my mind, and that it would be useable as intended (by me)

 

[BleepBloopBeep]

Granted. Alone you create your first item; your face starts to drop on the one side. The arm and leg on that side stop responding too. You fall unconscious, unfortunately the stresses imposed on your mind caused a stroke, with nobody around you stood no chance. Days later somebody discovers your invention and makes their fortune off of it.

I wish I could un-see certain things. You really don't want specifics

 

[Marken]

You can now un-see certain things. However, you are not in control of which things.

I wish i could teleport anywhere i wanted to be, up to once an hour, be able to activate at any time within that hour, with no side-effects that affect me.

 

[EstherTb]

Granted, them side affects don’t directly affect your body. But... when you teleport the world blows up for some reason. Of course you don’t die from the explosion because that would be a side affect but the cold vacuum of space doesn’t suit you well.

I wish my chickens didn’t stink so much

 

[Marken]

But... when you teleport the world blows up for some reason.

easy, i just teleport to another dimension.

 

[Tee]

Granted your chickens don't stink at all... because you now have anosmia.

I wish being sick didn't suck quite so much.

 

[Oegyein]

Granted your chickens don't stink at all... because you now have anosmia.

I wish being sick didn't suck quite so much.

Granted. You are now incapable of sucking straws, lollipops, popsicles, or even using a vacuum, so long as you're sick.

I wish I could freely modify my voice and appearance on the spot.

 

[Marken]

you can, but only back and forth between two options: normal you, and hitler; and only both at the same time.

i wish that wishes be calculated from now on using absolute value.

 

[Oegyein]

(To be fair, I'd make millions while acting in historical ww2 movies )