Embarrassing Stories

[Rateus]

Poor roachy </3

 

[chaosenjoyer]

Set the scene: here I am, procrastinating packing for tomorrow and reading a fun manwha to pass the time. My plan is to pack early and leave at 9. My light is on because subconsciously I do need to pack now so this is my motivation to not go to bed yet.

I see something out of the corner of my eye. Something large. Something dark. Moving fast. On the wall. Towards ...my...bed....!

I stare at it in shock for about 2.5 seconds as it quickly makes it's way from the doorway wall to the wall that my bed is against. I leap out of bed. This is no time to take photos! A COCKROACH HAS INVADED MY ROOM!! I grab my nearest shoe and take a mad dash towards it in a desperate attempt to kill it before it reaches the safety of my underbed abyss. I miss. Hastily, I jerk my bed away from the wall, revealing the disheveled mess underneath. There he is. Scuttling. Trying to find a dark corner. I attempt to reach him once again. But he's too fast! He races down the wall and turns the corner, now on the long side of the bed instead of the headboard. Now he is gunning for the cover of the bedroom curtains and the dresser near the end of the bed. I madly claw at the bed to get it far enough away from the wall so I can reach him. I weakly call for my sisters help. Not wanting to alarm the neighbors but the panic is rising.

He's gone. I swipe the curtains to the side thinking he has gone behind the dresser. Dread fills me. He's gone. There's only one place he could be, the fiend. He's on my bedpost! Hidden between the mattress and the wood! I run. It's too much. I bang on the doors of my roommate's locked doors crying for help and tell her my pleas. She giggles. "A roach?" THEN She declares confidently. "I'll take care of it!"

We return to the room. Me lagging behind my hero. She peers at the place I'm pointing at. He's gone. Again. She looks all over. She shrugs. Saying he's not there. Sort of grinning at my cowardice. I know he's here. There's only one place left. Under my mattress. I brace myself and tell her to be ready to grab it. She has no fear of the roach, smirking quietly.

I carefully lift the mattress, hoping the roach will be further down. He's not. He's at the edge of it. He touched my hand. I scream and drop the mattress, fleeing from the room. My sister, unable to contain herself, bursts into laughter as she carefully recovers the BEAST. I beg and plead for her to dispose of it. Outside. Away from me.

She obliges. But not without taking photos and laughing a lot. I of course join in the laughter (once the roach is secured and far away). Roaches can't even harm you! Why am I scared? I DONT KNOW BUT NOW IVE GOT GLUE TRAPS EVERYWHERE

roaches are nasty, this is 100% a valid response

 

[Zules]

I agree with @chaosenjoyer , but I also think cockroaches look kind of cute. Their lil faces.

 

[Rateus]

I agree with @chaosenjoyer , but I also think cockroaches look kind of cute. Their lil faces.

 

[Oegyein]

View attachment 8720

Can't stand roaches. Not scared of them or squeamish, but if I have to deal with one I don't like how unpredictable they are. Mealworms, on the other hand, are great. they're just chunky little protein boys.

 

[chaosenjoyer]

Every aspiring writer has that phase as a child where they thought they were much better at writing than they actually were. In my family, it happened to both me and my sister. In my sister's case, stories were mostly cliched romances which made almost no sense. In my case, stories were insane, hyperactive, all-over-the-place narratives which are almost too chaotic for me to enjoy. Though I have improved in recent years, back then, I was not a good writer. But one year, I entered a short story into a college's elementary school story contest called Awesome Authors. I had no business submitting any bits of my "literature" to anything, especially not a contest called Awesome Authors. But when I entered this story... it actually won! Unfortunately, this was right before Covid hit, so all I ever got was a certificate in the mail along with a book called "The Pigman" as my prize for winning, a book which I still have not read. There was supposed to be a large reception where all the winners shared their stories, and all received a book that contained everyone's stories. I did not get to experience this. Which is a good thing, because my cheating little self didn't deserve it.

My story was called Dream. It was not about that minecraft speedrunner. It was about a boy who I unintentionally named after corn syrup (Karo) who lived in a perfect world. However, the whole thing was a dream. He had a sort of mentor who guided him through it (it wasn't very well fleshed out) and this mentor revealed to him that they were actually the same person. He represented Karo's subconscious, who created this world for Karo to help him escape his abusive parent. Ultimately, Karo realized he had to wake up, and returned to the real world to an uncertain fate. "What do you mean, you didn't deserve to win, chaosenjoyer?" you may be asking. "That sounds like an excellent story!" And if you're asking that... you've never read The Eternal Smile. It's an excellent book which I highly recommend. It's a book that I loved when I was 12. And it's a book that I 100% plagiarized. I'm not certain whether or not I knew what I was doing, but the fact remains that almost none of my story was original, except for my... odd character names. This also explains how a 12-year-old wrote a deep story about child abuse, a topic which I had absolutely no business writing about. However, looking back, I'm proud of myself, because I got away with it. Nobody on the panel of judges had read the same obscure graphic novel I did, and thus, victory was mine! But all I got out of it was a lousy 1998 hardcover book, so perhaps I didn't win after all...

 

[bicyclesonthemoon]

One chat comment on the latest @StickFreeks Fairy Foxes stream unlocked one of my childhood memories:

I had an Advent Calendar.
24 chocolates in various shapes hidden behind openable doors, one for each day.

On the backside,
behind each chocolate piece
there was a drawing of the same thing the piece was shaped after.

I liked the drawings, so with my dad we were cutting out these pieces.
One of them was a drawing of a sitting lion.
I wasn't sure if I would be able to cut out the lion shape perfectly
so I asked dad for help.

He gave me a hint
To first cut just a rectangle around the lion
and then cut off the corners wherever they stick out too much
and repeat this multiple times
each time removing smaller corners, refining smaller detail
until finally I'm left with the shape of the lion.

I tried this and it worked.
I thought
What a great way to cut out lions!

I took a piece of blank paper
(with no drawing on it this time)
and tried again.
I cut out a rectangle.
And again cutting off the corners.
But no matter how many times I attempted this,
no matter how much I tried,
for some reason I could never get a lion shape again...

 

[Zules]

I kept asking my husband why on Earth they put a minion in the back of this pokemon card I own

Like... what?? It looks like a giant minion walking sideways, right??

RIGHT??

I haven't even seen any of these movies but it looks exactly like a minion and like nothing else!! But what!? That can't be!!

Spoiler: actually

Actually, it was just the bottom half of Gimmighoul's evolution, Gholdengo, and his card art stacks on top:

IT'S HIS STUPID BELT

 

[Rateus]

I kept asking my husband why on Earth they put a minion in the back of this pokemon card I own

View attachment 9954

Like... what?? It looks like a giant minion walking sideways, right??

View attachment 9955

RIGHT??

I haven't even seen any of these movies but it looks exactly like a minion and like nothing else!! But what!? That can't be!!

Spoiler: actually

Actually, it was just the bottom half of Gimmighoul's evolution, Gholdengo, and his card art stacks on top:
View attachment 9956
View attachment 9954

IT'S HIS STUPID BELT
View attachment 9957

That evolves into a cheese string?

 

[Oegyein]

I kept asking my husband why on Earth they put a minion in the back of this pokemon card I own

View attachment 9954

Like... what?? It looks like a giant minion walking sideways, right??

View attachment 9955

RIGHT??

I haven't even seen any of these movies but it looks exactly like a minion and like nothing else!! But what!? That can't be!!

Spoiler: actually

Actually, it was just the bottom half of Gimmighoul's evolution, Gholdengo, and his card art stacks on top:
View attachment 9956
View attachment 9954

IT'S HIS STUPID BELT
View attachment 9957

I'm convinced Zules is haunted by hallucinations of minions as a way to atone for her comic.

Behold, my least favorite video on my channel.

 

[bicyclesonthemoon]

The story how a young B completely failed to figure out skating equipment.

As a kid
before I even went to school
I got a skateboard!

It was easy to find out how to move forward.
But how to turn?
The skateboard wheels have this cool mechanism which makes it turn when leaning to the side.
But I never figured it out that it works like this.
And I didn't have anyone to show me.
Instead I thought
that it should be done similar to braking
when you lean it backwards
but not fully, to not touch the road
and then quickly move the body so that it rotates
and then touch the road with all wheels again
This never worked
I kept falling
Only a few years ago when I saw my youngest sister on a skateboard
I saw how that should be done.
Totally embarrassed, it's so simple, why couldn't I figure it out myself?

Other thing I got were roller skates.
These 4 wheels on the corners of shoes.
How can I move forward when I can't push myself forward against the ground?
I have wheels which prevent this!
I failed to notice that the thing in front is made for this purpose.
So as a kid I couldn't figure out roller skating either
so stopped trying.
In 2017 there were the World Games in Wrocław
While cycling to work I noticed one of the volunteers for the event using the skates correctly.
Sudden realisation and embarrasment!

 

[bicyclesonthemoon]

I tried to rent a bike
but its QR code was not scanning for some reason.
Only after a longer time I realised
that I attempted to rent the bike by scanning the code in
Snapchat
(instead the actual WRM bike rent app)

 

[Jimothy]

Every aspiring writer has that phase as a child where they thought they were much better at writing than they actually were. In my family, it happened to both me and my sister. In my sister's case, stories were mostly cliched romances which made almost no sense. In my case, stories were insane, hyperactive, all-over-the-place narratives which are almost too chaotic for me to enjoy. Though I have improved in recent years, back then, I was not a good writer. But one year, I entered a short story into a college's elementary school story contest called Awesome Authors. I had no business submitting any bits of my "literature" to anything, especially not a contest called Awesome Authors. But when I entered this story... it actually won! Unfortunately, this was right before Covid hit, so all I ever got was a certificate in the mail along with a book called "The Pigman" as my prize for winning, a book which I still have not read. There was supposed to be a large reception where all the winners shared their stories, and all received a book that contained everyone's stories. I did not get to experience this. Which is a good thing, because my cheating little self didn't deserve it.

My story was called Dream. It was not about that minecraft speedrunner. It was about a boy who I unintentionally named after corn syrup (Karo) who lived in a perfect world. However, the whole thing was a dream. He had a sort of mentor who guided him through it (it wasn't very well fleshed out) and this mentor revealed to him that they were actually the same person. He represented Karo's subconscious, who created this world for Karo to help him escape his abusive parent. Ultimately, Karo realized he had to wake up, and returned to the real world to an uncertain fate. "What do you mean, you didn't deserve to win, chaosenjoyer?" you may be asking. "That sounds like an excellent story!" And if you're asking that... you've never read The Eternal Smile. It's an excellent book which I highly recommend. It's a book that I loved when I was 12. And it's a book that I 100% plagiarized. I'm not certain whether or not I knew what I was doing, but the fact remains that almost none of my story was original, except for my... odd character names. This also explains how a 12-year-old wrote a deep story about child abuse, a topic which I had absolutely no business writing about. However, looking back, I'm proud of myself, because I got away with it. Nobody on the panel of judges had read the same obscure graphic novel I did, and thus, victory was mine! But all I got out of it was a lousy 1998 hardcover book, so perhaps I didn't win after all...

To be fair to both sides, The Pigman is a great book, and I probably shouldn't have read it at age 12.